18th Edition Welcome to FW 18 as the sickly-sweet tones of all those Valentine's songs hang in the air... (erm, wait, that was Christmas). Keep wishing hard and you just might be lucky enough to receive a large, plastic-wrapped, heart-shaped box filled with dozens of cheap chocolates! Yes, the annual FW Valentine's messages do exist below, but after jumping straight to them please do stop and read some of the rest of the issue *grin* BabyGirl (Editor)
CONTENTS
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could see no way that the young man would ever fit into their society and so had granted him permission to leave and seek his fate. His father had not spoken to him before he left, his mother had hugged him close, (the scent of her perfume even now filled his nostrils) and given him a travelling cloak as a farewell gift. He knew only one thing as he set off across the desert, to head north and to find the mountains of ice and snow: there he knew he would find what he sought. Alzir shivered with the cold and wrapped his thin cloak even tighter about his body. The high mountains of the Southern Pass surrounded him, throwing down their snow and wind to freeze him to the bone. He was glad that there were lights ahead.
I am able to continue no longer, my life force is ebbing away slowly but inexorably.
It seems that some kind of terrible plague has taken hold of my ship, the Endeavour.
Many members of my crew have been struck down with it now, it looks as if there is no hope. I fear that the end is near for us. My sabre, the fabled Braithwaite sabre, passed down from generation to generation through my ancestors, I have entrusted to the care of Ronan, the first mate. I have charged him with conveying it to the Galapogus Temple for safekeeping. I know that there they will tend to the sabre and its terrible secret. Foul weapon! I must tell Ronan to warn the priests of its power, and to get the jewel, the source, removed at the temple. Then the sabre will be powerless, safe from falling into the wrong hands. This...this is a most important matter. As a safeguard, I have taken the time to destroy all manuscripts referring to the sabre and its secret; this should prove to be sufficient protection against foul play. I will write more later, but for now my strength is ailing me, and therefore I must rest.
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Year 2000 Memo Subject: Year 2000 This memo announces the development of a major new software system. We are currently building a system that will contain all company data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands. Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. I've noticed that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MYASS. Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous, I've never put anything in MYASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time and when we were through she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MYASS. I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. We planned this system to encompass all information associated with the business. So as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say "Here, stick this in MYASS".
This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company
during recent OSHA and EPA audits. After requesting certain historical
data the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided
the information. When asked how the numbers could be
retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated
"Simple, I just pulled them out of MYASS".
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Well it's 1999 now and 2000 is just around the corner--we won't escape hearing about the dreaded Y2K BUG this entire year! BUT do you know about another potential havoc-wreaking bug, the 100 GB bug??
Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at 99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or even weeks, that number will roll over to 100GB. McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs have only two decimal places.
This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse of consumer confidence in McDonald's products.
The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push the teetering American economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete the total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization as we know it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.
"The people who know -- the sign-makers -- are really scared of 100GB", one expert said. "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for the hills."
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING TERRAFIRMA TOO LONG WHEN...
- You get a pager prompt in your dreams
- You hold out your hand and expect a becks to appear mysteriously
- You dream in ANSI comformance
- You connect and can guess the 4 players on the game
- When someone describes a problem to you and you can cycle through the game code as they describe the issue to you
- You instantly can type 'invis' if something goes wrong on the game without even thinking about it
- You eat the pie from the bed in the hidden hut and actually wonder how good it tastes...
- BT (phone company) telephone you personally about the huge debt you're running up on your account
- When you know each and every player by their IP designation not their name
- You are sat in your lecture thinking "noshout professor"
- You are about to go into a room to say something to everyone there, but stand out side and say 'gossip now listen everyone!'
- You are in bed, but instead of actually hugging your partner you just say 'hug you'
- You are looking for something and you automatically say 'where object'
- Someone is talking to you, you close your eyes, and you can actually see every word in full Ansi colour
- You are talking to non mudding friends and they start looking strangely at you when you start saying things like 'aww comfort' 'comhug' 'smiel' 'isee' etc.
- People call you by your on-line name irl
- People can't remember your irl name
- You can't remember your irl name...
- You have more total connect time than people that connected long before you
- You begin to think of lag as a time to nap
- You begin to speak in on-line abbreviations irl
- You make trips to meet your on-line friends irl
- You've got more friends on the game than irl
- Carpal tunnel is setting in and you keep typing anyway!
- You start to refer to new people at work as "newbies"
- You sleep with a night-light because you're afraid of The Grue
- You have the exact location of the spade memorized and can get there from any start point without having to stop to think about directions
- Your online life is more exciting that your real life
- You rush home to try to get that annoying quest done before anyone else has a chance to
- On weekends, your idea of a party is a case of cider or beer, pizza on the way, your computer, and a good 48 hours before you have to be in bed
- You know all the actions, and what they do, by heart
- You get into a theological discussion about whether or not killing a good mobile should be evil, due to the fact that they will all regen at the next reset anyway
- You take the side of the Mobiles, saying that "The mobiles are people too!"
- TF is down and you have no idea of what you can do for fun
- Your internet provider is on a first name basis with you
- You start to have everyone refer to you by your online name
- You try to emote in real life by saying, "<Your name here> grins mischievously"
- You shout out in public, "Title me %s the really cool guy!" trying to change your designation as student
- Your parents just send email, because they know they can't reach you by phone
- When you start to write a list of things to show that you have been playing too long
- Thanks to:
- Cyn 1-9
- Ted 10-15
- Cryogenius 16-22
- Checker 23
- Hatfield 24
- BabyGirl 25
- Rewind 26-39
- Asur 40
You'll never look at these phrases in the same way again....TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THE OFFICE BUT AREN'T:
- I need to whip it out by 5.
- Mind if I use your laptop?
- Just stick it in my box.
- If I have to lick one more, I'll gag.
- I want it on my desk, NOW!
- HMMMMM . . . I think it's out of fluid.
- My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
- It's an entry level position.
- When do you think you'll be getting off today?
- It's not fair . . . I do all the work while he just sits there!
- Nuts . . . my shaft is bent.
- After 18 holes I can barely walk.
- You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
- Look at the size of his putter!
- Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
- Mind if I join your threesome?
- Stand with your back turned and drop it.
- My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
- Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
- Hold up . . . I need to wash my balls first!
- Have you looked through her briefs?
- He is one hard judge!
- Counsellor, let's do it in chambers.
- His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
- Is it a penal offence?
- Better leave the handcuffs on.
- For $20.00/hr. she better be good!
- Can you get him to drop his suit?
- The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
- Think you can get me off?
Speaking of things in the gutter.... well there's been no escaping all the coverage of the "Lewinsky-Clinton Scandal" for the past year (dear god make it stop!!)--so I've finally given in and I offer you these funnies.
Possible Titles for Lewinsky's New Book:
- I Suck At My Job
- What Really Goes Down In The White House
- How I Blew It In Washington
- You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
- Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
- Going Back for Gore
- Podium Girl
- Secret Services to the President
- Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
- Deep Inside The Oval Office
- The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
- She's Chief of MY Staff!
- Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
- How To Beat Off the Government
- Going Down and Moving Up
- Members of the Presidential Cabinet
- Me and My Big Mouth
These are bumper stickers reportedly seen on cars around the Washington DC area:
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HONK IF YOU HAD SEX WITH THE PRESIDENT CLINTON: WE FORGIVE YOU...NOW RESIGN! AL GORE: ONE HEARTTHROB FROM THE PRESIDENCY ADULTERY IS NOT A FAMILY VALUE DOES CHARACTER MATTER YET? ONE MORE WHORE AND WE GET GORE BILL CLINTON: COMMANDER IN HEAT MY PRESIDENT FOOLED AROUND WITH YOUR HONOR STUDENT JAIL TO THE CHIEF TODAY KIDS NO LONGER PLAY DOCTOR, THEY PLAY PRESIDENT THE CLINTON CREED: TAKE CREDIT NOT RESPONSIBILITY IF HIS PRIVATE LIFE DOESN'T MATTER, LET HIM DATE YOUR DAUGHTER. SAVE THE PRESIDENT: LEGALIZE PERJURY TWO TERMS FOR CLINTON: THE SECOND IN JAIL CLINTON: OUR NATION'S FONDLING FATHER |
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO VALENTINE'S DAY...
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Kahlil Gibran, "On Love", from The Prophet
Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love." And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said: 
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Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring. ~ Oscar Wilde Thanks to all who contributed, enjoy! |
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Happy valentines to all my friends in tf
# # # # # ##### #
##### # # # # # # # #####
# ####### # # # #### #
##### # # # # # # # # #####
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>From the huggy monster
Cyn I find it hard, so hard to find the words, whatever, nevermind My love for you is endless, nameless... xxxxx REC I ache for your arms, I long for your kisses. If I cross the ocean, Would you be my missus? You know who...
To Little Miss Sexy,
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug**Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug**Hug*
*Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
Luv,
MP
Nirvana:-
When I am with you,
Im as high as a rocket,
Here is a rose,
To stuff in your pocket :)
[@>-'--,--]
To Sickboy: Thanks for being my husband and my best mate on here. with Love from your Teddy Bear To Lost. Forget about Wuggly, marry me, i have better greeting messages than her that you can rip off. You Know Who. Because you're the sweetest And the most adorable, Because you're so wonderful and You're infinitely huggable, Give me your heart and I'll be yours forever, Remember all the good times, you won't need to Look any further than me *cross* Happy Valentines from someone you know Rubies are Red, Sapphires are Blue, What would I do Without you? To Honey, The original and still the best.
To Bambi
r^"
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. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$e.
$P*$e$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$F
^c "*$$$$$$F
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because you are such a deer!
To Shannow: The entrance of you converts, so it seems, Into nightmares, our sweet peaceful dreams. Anon x 2 Mon gros singe - There's just something about the way your knuckles brush along the ground... I don't care if your hovercraft is full of eels - ton (autre) petit nid de vipères. My darling Lucas, I am your nervous servant. So you don't like the way I go on and on about about your door and my dog's flea problem? Forgive me if I digress from the subject of your non-existent beauty. And please forgive me if I stare too directly at you in your speedo, but I have never seen anyone who looks so elegant while wolfing down cider. Please, oh please, be my Valentine or I won't know what to do. Yours superficially, The Female of the Species
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you(Guns'n'Roses(1988), "Patience", Lies, Lies, Lies) *scl* and not forgetting some nice choccie kisses... Lost. xxx.
To Firefly:CWRK!
If you go down to the woods today, you'd better not go alone.
It's lovely down in the woods today but safer to stay at home.
For every bear that certain there was,
is gathered there for certain, because...
Today's the day the TEDdy bears have their picknic!!
_--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ _--_
( () )___( () ) ( () )___( () ) ( () )___( () ) ( () )___( () )
\ / \ / \ / \ /
( ' _ ` ) ( ' _ ` ) ( ' _ ` ) ( ' _ ` )
\ ___ / \ ___ / \ ___ / \ ___ /
.__( `-' ) ( `-' ) ( `-' ) .__( `-' ) ___
/ ! `---' \ _--'`---_ .--`---'\ / /`---'`-' \
/ \ ! / \___ / _>\ / / ._/ __
! /\ ! / / ! \ / /-___-' ) /' /.-----\___/ / )
! !_\______/\. ( < !__/ /' ( _/ \___// `----' !
\ \ ! \ \ \ /\ \___/`------' ) \ ______/
\___/ ) /__/ \--/ \ / \ ._ \ `< `--_____----'
\ / ! `. )- \/ ) ___>-_ \ /-\ \ /
/ ! / ! ! `. / / `-_ `-/ / ! !
! /__ /___ / /__ \__/ ( \---__/ `-_ / / /__
(______)____) (______) \__) `-_/ (______)
thanks for being such a cool friend
To BabyGirl, Being around you sets my soul afire, It sets me aflame with desire. Be mine, and I'll be yours forever as well. Anonymous
To MP
lots of tickles, you know why!!!!!
and to keep you going
*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*
*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*
*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*
_ _ --- .
_ `. ` - . - \
/ `---._________________) . . . __ \
`. ________________ || || || | | |
`" ) '__'_' '--' /
._ ." - _ _ ."
from you know who
To the empress with new clothes - lets make beautiful boozers together! Firefly Life without you would be like JAMC without feedback... (Quieter, but nowhere near as good) [@>-,-'--] All my love Dear Bliss, Anyone who listens to a toal stranger harping on about the unfairness of life deserves a medal. In this case hon, you deserve a GOLD. Thank you so much for listening to me and letting me spoil your day While i droaned on. Thanks for being there, and just... THANK YOU!!!! Love, hugs and Kissess.... From The Guy With A Smile.
Roses are red,
Cyanobacta is blue,
Some day i will be mud-wed,
And hopefully to you!
| \ \ | |/ /
| |\ `' ' /
| ;'aorta \ / , pulmonary
| ; _, | / / , arteries
superior | | ( `-.;_,-' '-' , vena cava
| `, `-._ _,-'_
|,-`. `.) ,<_,-'_, pulmonary
,' `. / ,' `;-' _, veins
; `./ /`, \-'
| right / | ;\ |\
| atrium ;_,._|_, `, ' \
| \ \ ` `,
` __ ` \ left ;,
\ ,' ` \, ventricle
\_( ;, ;;
| \ `;, ;;
inferior | |`. `;;, ;' vena cava
| | `-. ;;;;,;'
| | |`-.._ ,;;;;;'
| | | | ``';;;' FL
aorta
So are you gonna mud marry me then????
To Black Boots. I never got to see you in your S&M outfit. Love, Red Scarf. Fish Stick... To Mindflayer <*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* <*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* <*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* <*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* <*Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* <*Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug**Hug* <*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* <*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* <*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* <*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* That should keep you busy when I'm not around :o) Love Ted! To Vardick, the only man I'll ever love Thanks for everything Love you, man *hug* To my favourate TEDdy, Who says TEDs are for kids? SB. To Galena, School didn't teach me much - but you seem to be fixing that! Look forward to you finishing my education ; ) *mgrin* xxx
To the buggest poser in the MUD
happy valentines
( ready
.-'''-..' \ aim
_______ .' - \ fire!
<<<<<<<< );__ ,,,_) \ its a MINDFLAYER __ /
<<<<<<<<< ) ;C / \ /ZZZ' )
<<<<<< (.-'-. )====_)_=======> .-''''>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<< \ ''''''' ) .' >>>>>>>>>
; <<< .......__/ __\_; ,>>>>>>>
.-''' ( ) / / ('"\__
.-' ;. / (;/;) /\
/ .-' . = . /
_-''\_/ '. .' . /
.-' ) ;\ '''. . /
; .'''' '. ' ; (
O -' .''' .' (__)))
.' .-'''''' ( )*Qpid*(__)))
'o-' ( _))(_ _)( _))_))
To BabyGirl Mount Vernon? Lucky bloke! Whoever he is. You hugged me in my pyjamas. I've never washed them since! I'm a dirty sod! >From "Taco Bell" Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! Er... that's it. I mean er, that's it. Thanks for the emergency video delivery ;) |
To my Snuggly Wuggly,
Your love is the shining star
I wish upon
Never to fade away
I've set my course upon it
Love, Me
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THE PSYCHIC LIPSTICK OF LOVE http://www.amazoncity.com/bazaar/lovers/lipstick/index.html Try the Psychic Lipstick for new insights into the fate of your love. |
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HEARTS JUST KNOW http://home.wxs.nl/~bverhees/800.htm We hear about and perhaps even know couples that have found eachother through the wonders of the Internet--here is just one touching story about two hearts that found eachother this way, and 'just knew'.... |
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KAREN & MICHAEL - THE WEDDING http://www.spots.ab.ca/~nermal/index.htm They met on the Internet too! Now you might think some strangers' web site about their wedding would not interest you, but have a look, it's actually pretty fun to read through! |
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KILL ALL SQUIRRELS! http://www.parsec-technologies.com/sdl/ The squirrel defamation league. |
Well, on this V-Day just remember who loves ya baby! (there's SOMEONE out there who does, think hard!). Keep your chins up and think about spring right around the corner!
The surging sea outweighs;
The world uncertain comes and goes,
The lover rooted stays.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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