10th Edition

Welcome to the Spring 1997 edition of FreeWheeling, dedicated to the tireless running of all UK players, who have been forced to mud even more than usual to avoid the endless election coverage. By the time you read this, TerraFirmA could be living under a different RL government. For an in-depth analysis of the effect of this on armour prices, policing policies, possible devolution of power to Apprentices (ho ho *asif*) etc., see the next edition of FreeWheeling. We hope to have special interviews with Robocop and the Storekeeper, as well as the mobile on the street's views.

BabyGirl and Firefly (Editors)

CONTENTS

• NEWS
• TALES OF TERRA
• INCREDIBLY ORIGINAL WORD GAME
• OBSERVATIONS (A FEW PEEVES ABOUT TERRA)
• THINGS THAT COME IN THREES
• HOW TO KEEP WACKINESS ALIVE IN THE MODERN WORKPLACE
• TIMELY LINKS
• FREEWHEELING COMPETITION!

NEWS

Game News

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TERRAFIRMA: ONE YEAR OLD ON 28TH MARCH 1997

The main news since the last edition is of course the swapping of TerraFirmA to the new layout. Yes, TerraForming has been and gone, and mortals and Untouchables alike are now cautiously finding their way around the new and improved game. Responses have been overwhelmingly favourable (even from the player this particular FreeWheeling editor directed to an Opera House that was no longer where she thought it was *blush*). Several new features have been brought into the game with TerraForming, including recording of fastest times for completing quests, the new quest Rescue (courtesy of Luckyspin), linkdeath code and automatic restarting of the game after a crash with no loss of equipment, position or score (coding by Cyn), and of course a new Untouchable command allowing us to make paper aeroplanes out of players (courtesy of Cyn and one of the best reasons to wiz, if you ask me). We hope everyone likes the new layout. Please do continue to report any minor bugs or typos that may have slipped through the net to date. Happy exploring (and see the competition below for a way to turn this exploring into extra credits).

Look for the TerraFormed world to make its appearance on the Terradome in time. Meanwhile, nostalgia buffs can get their fill of the "old" layout there!

Player News

Since the last FreeWheeling, several new Apprentices and Counsels have joined the ranks of the Untouchables at TerraFirmA and there have been various promotions within the Court and the Clave. Dios and Mav are now Counsels and Bliss and Farout are among the most recent Apprentices. Mindflayer and Lister are now Stalwarts and we also now have a Jester: Mardi. In the Court, Cyn has been promoted to Lady.

At the Terradome, new Counsels are Volund, Gimbal, Mav and Lister, while Bey is a new addition to the Apprentice ranks. Congrats to Tyban who has been promoted to head Stalwart.

There have been two weddings at TerraFirmA: BabyGirl and Panda were married at the Beautiful Beach on the 20th of March, and Bambi and Lucas were married on the 10th of April in a secret ceremony in Aphrodite's Garden. Don't forget, if you want to get married one player must be Untouchable first. Announcements of new engagements and weddings can be seen by typing COUPLES in the game.

Scully

For those of you who have not seen this on the noticeboard, we also regret to announce that Scully (whose real name was Vicky) died last month in a motorcycle accident caused by a drunk driver. A memorial will be placed somewhere in the game for her.

Web News

Owing to problems with the server where it is located, the TerraFirmA web site has been down for a while. It will be brought back up again as soon as possible; in the mean time, keep checking the board in the game and the messages of the day for news and information.

The Terradome site has recently been updated and upgraded. Feel free to look at this site (http://terradome.ohl.dk/) while the TerraFirmA site is down, as much of the information applies to both games.

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TALES OF TERRA

TOWERS!

Teela pushed her long soaked hair away from her eyes. She swept the dark bulk behind her ears, hoping, probably in vain she thought to herself, to stop it falling back over her face. She took a deep breath and forced herself up the few remaining steps which still stood between her and the fabled magical tower. Teela smiled briefly to herself as she noted the crackling fire and felt the heat of its burn on her face.

She half fell over the last step, stumbling in to the protective warmth of the ancient structure. Teela shivered, her clothes hung limp on her, the wet material clung to her like a second partially sloughed skin. She cursed the weather, the storm had been long, the rain heavy, and her clothes (she was sure) had absorbed most of the downpour. Teela stamped her feet trying to return some life to them, the last part of her journey had been heavy going, the cold mud had all but numbed her limbs below the knee. The airlock was by comparison dry and warm. She hated this place and the other similar structures around the known world. They were said to be one of the last places of true magic in the world, and indeed, if the strange metallic material and unfathomable cryptic sygnals which covered the walls weren't enough, there was the fire and the pit to back up the claims. Teela shivered again, a cold tingle ran down her spine, but this time it was not the cold or the damp that caused it.

She removed her heavy backpack, her face twisting in disgust as the ice-cold soaked straps bled absorbed rain over her already freezing fingers. Gently she placed her pack near the warmth of the sparkling orange fire and eased herself down in front of it. Teela let her back relax into its bulk, the damp material creaked as it took her full weight. She sighed with relief as the aches and tensions of the day left her shoulders, she tipped her head forward to stretch her neck and once again caused her hair to cascade over her face. Teela laughed quietly, it had been doing that all day, getting in the way at the most inappropriate times. At the time it had annoyed her greatly, but now with the warm of the fire slowly bringing life back to her abused body, it seemed unimportant.

Her attention focused on the mystical flames, their orange glow danced across her dark pupils as she stared into its centre. The words of her Father, a rather simple, ill-travelled man from Hamelin suddenly came to her. He had been unwilling at first to let his only daughter learn how to fight and go off on these `Wild Adventures' as he put it (a small smirk). Although she didn't need his counsel, legends of the Airlocks had been told by mothers to their infants for many generations. The lore of the land stated that the fires were eternal, and if they ever did burn out then the world would end in a terrible disaster called the Segmentation. Teela stared hard at the flames, they looked to be in little danger of dying. She shook her head slowly and told herself not to be so silly. Her thoughts turned her brother, Tanglewood. This was the first time she had been adventuring without him and she had missed his cheerful voice and encouragement as the journey had progressed. She also knew that her fear of the airlocks was purely down to his fate. Tanglewood had let himself be drawn into the vortex, a fast and, until recently, safe way to travel the large distances of the world. But something had gone terribly wrong, Tanglewood had materialised high above the village streets and had plummeted to his death. She had sworn never to use the devices again.

Teela slowly manoeuvred herself around to sit facing her pack. She gingerly undid the straps, trying to avoid the leakage of the storm rain from the coarse material. She hoped that her last remaining supplies had not become water logged and inedible, but secretly she held little hope as she flipped open the canvas top and peered inside.

Teela reached in, her probing hand closed around the smooth polished surface of a small, cold metallic ball. She withdrew the object and smiled. She turned it over in her hands, watching its reflective silvered sides mirror the interior of the airlock. Teela grinned, this alone would feed her family back in Hamelin for a month. She continued her search in the pack and found her supplies, all ruined. Teela took a deep breath. She suddenly turned her head towards a small movement from her left, an instinctive reaction (she smiled and noted also her hand had fallen to her sword hilt). Teela searched the area quickly, scanning her surroundings. Her heart pounded heavily, pumping adrenaline into her system as her muscles tensed in readiness. She was alone.

Her gaze fell instead to the second artifact in the chamber, one she had purposely avoided thinking about or even looking at--the Pit. She shuddered, and began to edge further away from the gaping hole. It was said that if you threw an item into the void then its value would be credited to you. She remembered the ball and glanced at it briefly before shaking her head. She was sure that she could get more for it in the town, she would rely on her bartering skills any day over any so-called `magic' pit. Teela relaxed again, moving the pack so that it supported her back once more. For the first time that day she glanced towards the sky. The dark clouds still hung heavily outside, but in the far distance to the North the storm had passed, leaving thick streaks of grey cloud, like shredded material or paper, hanging across the sky. Teela noted how the light was failing, she had made it to the tower just in time. No one wanted to be out in the darkness of night, especially in the middle of a storm. Her heart jumped a little at the thought of some giant animal seeking shelter in the airlock. She reassured herself quickly, she knew that no hostile foe would enter and attack her.

Teela let her eyes relax as she gazed absent-mindedly at the darkening sky, she didn't notice the shadows growing around her as the daylight faded and the silvered walls of the chamber reflected the deep, warm orange of the flames. She closed her eyes and thought of the next morning's journey back home towards Hamelin. It was a long walk, but the well-used roads she would be travelling should be free of trouble. Her brother returned to her thoughts again, she felt her eyes begin to burn as she remembered him, his laugh, his smile, even the way he carried himself. Perhaps her going out on her own was to try, somehow, to justify his needless death to herself, as if putting her own life in danger made up for it. She shook her head sadly and drew her knees up to her chest, rested her chin on them and clasped her hands around her shins.

Tomorrow was another day....

THE HISTORY BEHIND THE DARK MAGE SHAZARETH

Shazareth was a bright mage, dedicated to the Elven way of life. He was young when he ventured to the outlying lands, helping the people to keep them in good health. He soon returned to Dinthiar's territories though; dark rumours abounded that the Djinni and his demon army had descended upon the lands, reaping them for all they were worth. Shazareth was quickly appointed to a select group of mages by Dinthiar, the group charged with finding a way to weaken the apparently invulnerable demon army. It was Shazareth who formulated the theory for--and finally forged--the powerstones which would bring about the Djinnis' demise. But his will was weak...he was consumed by his own creation, succumbing to the darker side of magic.

Shazareth was swiftly ejected from the Elven lands when his terrible secret was uncovered, and he now resides in a tower high above the east coast. It is in this tower that he continues his search for ultimate power and mastery of the dark magic. One example of his experiments is the Albion sword, lying deep within Sherwood forest at his former camp; this was the place where he resided for a short time, not long after his exile.

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INCREDIBLY ORIGINAL WORD GAME

                             N A R A N T X A O X K
                             H P I K C O N E T E N
                             T L A R E I R C O Z I
                             A Q U I L M R A F A P
                             E O J E N O F R A M S 
                             D U M O L K C R A B Y
                             E A T I L A Y K R T K
                             H R O S T Y M M A L C
                             O S C A R T O O N O U
                             R R O M E X O T A A L

There are sixteen words to find, all related to the game... One free spotkick or vitaliser to the first player to return a list by mudmail to Firefly.

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OBSERVATIONS (A FEW PEEVES ABOUT TERRA)

• How it's so hard to type "pseudoz" at 5 am....
• When you gossip something private you meant to say/tell....
• How addictive the game is!
• The generally depressing weather (rain/hail/storms...).
• How if you're on water or under water the credits/items that mobiles drop always disappear into the depths! (Not to mention if you drop your own objects...)
• Tufa! Tufa! Tufa!
• The HUGE markup on food at the stores (how DO we all manage to eat).
• Grandpa Smurf.
• The way that mobiles taunt you when they kill you ('Ha Ha', 'What a wimp').
• When you forget that you're drunk (brew, etc.) and start trying to talk seriously to someone....

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THINGS THAT COME IN THREES

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HOW TO KEEP WACKINESS ALIVE IN THE MODERN WORKPLACE

1. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
2. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
3. Insist that your e-mail address be "zena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com". You'll either love or hate this one!
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
6. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
7. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
8. Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're all present.
9. Come to work in your pyjamas.
10. Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
11. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
12. Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point Sparky." "No, I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi." "Hey Bucko, are we meeting later?" etc....
13. Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
14. Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all reports that you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick figures yourself.)
15. Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm. or 2:37pm, or 10:16am.
16. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
17. Agree to organise the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
18. Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
19. No matter what anyone asks you, reply "Okay."
20. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
21. Plant a hedge around your cubicle.
22. Grow mould in your coffee cup.
23. Build models of the Seven Wonders of the World using empty soda cans.
24. Put on your headphones on whenever the boss comes into the office. Talk in a loud voice. Remove your headphones when s/he leaves.
25. When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter, "I think my phone is ringing" and leave. Go get a coffee.
26. Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."
27. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
28. Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
29. Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk into your daytimer.
30. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
31. Organize a carpool. Go to pick everyone up in a taxi.
32. E-mail nude .gifs (graphic image files) of yourself to your co-workers. Tell them you got them off the Internet.
33. Hang mistletoe over your desk.
34. Include a personal note on every e-mail you send. "On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today." or "On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest score ever on Tetris last night."
35. Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right as special treats for your co-workers.
36. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
37. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
38. Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your own children.
39. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
40. See how long it takes until the last person stops believing you. Then start planting pizzas.
41. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
42. When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often.

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FREEWHEELING COMPETITION!

Mortals, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly to win 5000 credits--could prove valuable if your bank balance is on the sick list!

The first mortal to respond with the correct answer will win. The second and third mortal players to answer correctly will receieve 1000 credits to their bank account, so get to work!

The question is: name the three castles that exist within the Terra lands. (Each castle's proper name, not merely its location!)

Mudmail or e-mail your responses to BabyGirl. Good luck!

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TIMELY LINKS

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Thank you for reading this edition of FreeWheeling. Contributions are always welcome: please send them to BabyGirl or Firefly. Thank you to all contributors to this issue.